Married To An Ex Mennonite: Part 2

       The longer I knew Daniel the more I got to know his family. I fell in love with any of them that would meet me. The first time I met his mother I asked her "What time in your life do you remember most fondly?"  Her happiest time, she said, was when all her children were under one roof! At the time, it warmed my heart and I admired her motherly heart. But later I realized that her words were far from sentimental, sappy recollections of the past. She was remembering her family when it was whole....something it may never be again.


        Daniel would tell any who asked that his heart was pointed towards God and that he was a committed member of the Tennessee Church fellowship. He thought they had the answers for the world! His understanding of the brethren's commitment was that "Truth" was so important that the whole group would bend to meet it! He believed there were no sacrifices too great when it came to serving God and the Church. His life was one of noble purpose and he was fulfilled in it.
       Hours were spent building brethren's barns, painting brethren cars black,  cutting firewood for the school, and helping others when they needed an extra hand. One year he donated several heifer cows to a family that was starting a dairy! Offerings were taken up for school, medical bills, and other community expenses. He put his heart and finances into that community.
          One Sunday, it was announced that a member had asked for a "release" to move else where. Daniel was shocked as he had not even known that moving was under consideration! After meeting, Daniel asked him why he was moving and asked where he planned to go. The man answered uncertainly and in secretive confidence. The announcement was as much as a surprise to him as it was to Daniel!  He did not know where he was going but he would have to figure it out soon! He wanted to stay, but the ministry did not want to work with him. The announcement that he wanted to move was wrong and not initiated by himself, but by the ministry....Disagreeing with the ministry in public meant certain punishment, so he would comply and begin to look for a place to move.
          Daniel could hardly imagine his caring ministers would not want to work towards resolution with a member in such good standing. So he asked his bishop why the man could not stay and work it out. But like a door slamming in his face, the bishop informed Daniel that it was none of his business as Daniel wasn't involved. The bishop also felt certain the member had no interest in reconciliation. Daniel informed him that from then, rather than trust the ministry's announcements at face value, he would be checking up on their validity. He was committed to a church of integrity, not to unscrupulous ministers.
         The Tennessee Churches had started as a noble experiment. Founding members of the congregation had come of the Weaverland conference in Pennsylvania and the Wissler conference in Ohio. Disillusioned with the governing system of their youth, they sought to revolutionize how churches were governed.  The theory was that conference led churches took the power of legislation out of the hands of the lay brethren in the local congregation. Instead, leaders from many churches gathered regionally to decide important matters in the church. Often times it felt like key decisions waited many months until these conferences occurred. Those who violated the rules of the church "Standard" were either ignored or not properly disciplined.  Daniel's father was often dismayed by the inconsistency at which his community functioned. For example, cameras, were outlawed by the conference, but commonly used in the membership. When the opportunity arose for a church fellowship with congregational governance, he leapt at the opportunity to join.
      Other differences in the new group was a severe form of "shunning" and extreme accountability to the local congregation. The theory was that if the local congregation was accountable for the spiritual wellbeing of its members, then there was  no aspect of life that shouldn't be under the scrutiny of the membership. Rules in the Standard extended to how many cows a dairy could have, what kind of flooring one could have in their house, and the colors of clothing one could wear. Expenditures over 2,500 dollars had to be approved by the congregation. Cars had to be late model and  painted black. The radios had to be disabled or removed and no chrome! Reading material was limited to a few approved Anabaptist publications and equipment manuals....everything else was deemed questionable, with a few exceptions. Tapes or cds, or any kind of musical instrument, was barred. Smoking was  also against the standard.  Members were not even allowed to repair equipment for neighbors if it was strictly used for tobacco production.
          But 20 years later, all the original members, save for a few, had been excommunicated or moved. The enthusiastic pioneers of the first generation were set aside in exchange for their indoctrinated children, who were easier to shepherd.
          On the surface, all looked well and in order. The second generation were raising their children and the meeting house was beginning to overflow. Families were large. Daniel's own family would eventually grow to 16 children!
           The school was flourishing and had surpassed all expectations of the county school board. Concerned by the short day of only 4 hours, as well as a shorter school year, the children were tested by the public school administrators. It was found that most of the graduating 8th graders were within range of some public school 12th graders!
          Daniel loved school! The day began with Bible study and songs.....later moving into lessons in English and Math. History was focused on that of the early Christians and Anabaptist beginnings. Science was taught in seventh and eighth grades. But what they mainly learned in school was how to express themselves on paper, occupational math, and how to learn information when they needed to. They mostly came out of school as a resourceful crew and at 13, excited for the next phase of life.
   

Some of Daniel's arrowhead collection.

  Mennonite children are often pretty creative and have a lot of leeway for experimentation and made up games. So long as the work is done, at least in Daniel's family, having fun and working was the norm. And because they were immersed in the natural world around them, they were fascinated by things that few mainstream children find delight in. In keeping with this delight, there was a brother who collected wild bird eggs and Daniel himself collected stamps and made mushroom spore designs. All the children collected arrowheads. Little experiments ensued. Daniel tried hatching chicken eggs with a light bulb once and the boys tried a little wood carving here and there. The world was the children's playground, with the entirety of the family's toys fitting in one small toy box in the living room.
           Even today, as I meet Daniel's nieces and nephews, there is a sweet innocence and vibrancy of interest in their surroundings. Each child's treasures reflect their personal interests, from stones and feathers, to handmade kerchiefs and small welded replicas of skid steers and tractors. (I bet that took some study!) And there is also a dedication to service to their parents, siblings, and community that I have found no where else.